A guy dies and goes to Hell but instead of fire and brimstone he find himself in a lovely modern office with a man in an immaculate suit who offers him a seat, a cool drink and makes polite conversation.

After a while the guy ask if he is in Hell and if the man is the devil. "Yes indeed" says the Devil "we decided to move with the times and be more customer focused. We still have to torture you for all eternity but you now get to choose your torture. Would you like to start?"

"I guess so" the guy says.

"I must warn you though" says the Devil "once you select your torture it will be one hundred years before you get to change it for another- so choose carefully."

The first door the Devil opens is onto a room full of people being buried under great rocks while imps dance on top of the rock piles. "Nope" says the guy "too tough to start with"

The second door opens on a lake of lava with souls up to their noses in it being prodded by imps with forks. "Nope" says the guy "way too tough for a first torture"

The third door opens onto a room where a naked man is chained to a wall while a gorgeous 6ft Swedish blonde girl in head to foot latex kneels in front of him giving him the most fantastic blow job. "That one will do for me" says the guy.

"Are you sure says the Devil - once you make your choice you are stuck with it for 100 years?"

"Absolutely " says the guy "that is the one for me!"

So the Devil walks into the room, taps the gorgeous blonde girl on the shoulder and says "You can sod off now - I have your replacement here!"